Unfortunately, yes again.
I have neglected this blog for what seems like forever. Before I spoke of life getting busy but I had no idea what was in store for me.
Busy is the one adjective that describes my life adequately at all times. 2017 brought happy, ecstatic, tired, stressed, ill and also lots and lots of sad too. I am a completely different person now than I was at the beginning of last year. Probably a better person (read: more grown-up if I’m honest) but I still prefer last year me.
I’ve dealt with some sad situations that I never saw myself dealing with, ones we are never taught to deal with. I live with a little extra prickle of sadness in my heart regarding one in particular that I hope will fade within a few years as I learn to move on. This is really where I’ve grown as a person- coping with the fact that life does have to end. (Wow! Look who has a bit of an answer to her grief post, which you can read here!)
As a result of said sadness, I really have become a bit of a bundle of paranoia about the safety of my loved ones. It is starting to be all-consuming at times so I have got to be more on top of stopping it. It helps nobody.
I’m learning to deal with levels of stress that I’ve never quite had before as well as learning to live on a lot less sleep at times. No, I haven’t had a baby. Yes, I would happily take that as an alternative sometimes.
Socially I’m learning to balance myself with new people which is a little but fun but mostly makes me feel nervous and anxious about whether I’m doing ‘the right thing’. It has resulted in me zoning out a little bit more than I’d like to in social situations which is just frustrating more than anything else, but I’m on a mission to change that. I still have my ‘old people’ and spending time with them is the most incredible, healing thing that I can do.
Within the craziness there have been some ridiculously high highs.
- Dearest friend travelled for 12 hours to surprise me for my birthday. One of the world’s best people, I can assure you.
- Somehow reached dizzying heights work-wise that I am very proud of.
- Partly moved to a new city, which I adore.
- Did so much travelling. I was so so so lucky and I had the most incredible times and I will post about them here because if not I’d get very annoyed at myself.
I realise that nobody reads this blog (although a few people see my travel posts which I love) but this has become a bit of a travel highlights diary for me. When I put my mind to it, that is. So I do intend to continue, at some point…
Just have to find the time!